She Prevails Podcast | A Conversation with Coach Felicia
Imagine running 100 miles.
Now imagine doing it with knee pain that started around mile 12, blisters, freezing temperatures, and exhaustion so intense that you're literally falling asleep while walking.
Oh, and you've still got miles to go.
That's what my friend and fellow Prevail Gym coach, Felicia, experienced during the Mamba 100 ultramarathon in Memphis, Tennessee.
I had the opportunity to be part of her crew and pace her through one of the most difficult sections of the race. Five days later, we sat down to talk about the experience.
And while we definitely talked about running, the conversation went much deeper than that.
We talked about grief, fear, motherhood, believing in yourself, accepting help, and what happens when the thing you've spent months preparing for goes absolutely nothing like you planned.
From Running a Half Marathon to Running 100 Miles
Four years ago, Felicia was getting ready for her first half marathon.
She had watched me and some friends participate in races and mentioned that she'd like to do something like that someday.
I asked her a simple question.
"Why not now?"
A week later, she started training.
She went on to complete half marathons, marathons, and eventually a 12-hour endurance race where she covered 54 miles.
Then she crewed and paced me during my own ultramarathons.
And something about that experience stuck with her.
She loved the atmosphere. The people. The way complete strangers encouraged one another. The stories behind the runners who were willing to put themselves through something so difficult.
But there was another reason running had become so important to her.
After losing her mom, Felicia started running more consistently as a way to process her grief.
Running became a place where she could work through things she didn't necessarily know how to put into words.
She had already experienced some incredibly difficult things in her life.
And eventually, she started wondering what she was capable of physically.
That's where the idea of running 100 miles began.
The Work Nobody Sees
Felicia spent 20 weeks preparing for the Mamba 100.
Twenty weeks of long runs, early mornings, training around work, and figuring out how to balance being a mom with pursuing something that required an enormous amount of time.
She talked about the guilt that came with it.
Was she spending too much time away from her boys? Was she giving enough to her job? Was there enough of her left for everything else?
She made adjustments. She coached fewer classes. She planned long runs around her children's schedules. She ran in the middle of hot days when that was the time she had available.
And she showed up for almost every training run.
One of my favorite moments from our conversation was hearing her talk about her oldest son, who proudly told people at work that his mom was out running 100 miles.
We spend so much time worrying about what pursuing our own goals takes away from our families.
Sometimes we forget to consider what our families might gain from watching us pursue something meaningful.
Felicia was showing her boys what it looks like to commit to something, work hard, take care of yourself, and follow through.
That's a pretty incredible example to set.
When the Plan Falls Apart at Mile 12
Felicia went into the race hoping to finish in 27 hours.
And for a long time, she was ahead of schedule.
But around mile 12, she tripped over a root and fell.
Her knee started hurting.
Then the pain traveled down her leg. Eventually, her other knee started hurting because she was compensating.
And she still had roughly 88 miles to go.
By the third loop, she was hurting badly enough that she started to panic.
She'd forgotten her earbuds, which she'd planned to use as a distraction. She was alone on the trail, overwhelmed by pain, and wondering how she was going to get through the rest of the race.
So she started reading messages people had sent her.
Over and over, she saw the same words.
"You are strong."
And she started running again.
I love that part of her story because sometimes the encouragement we need is something another person can see in us before we're able to see it ourselves.
Felicia talked about how, years ago, she didn't believe in herself the way she does today.
Being surrounded by people who believed in her helped change that.
She now tells other people that she'll believe in them enough for both of them until they're able to believe in themselves.
And during that third loop, she got to experience that same kind of support.
The Night Everything Changed
By the time I joined Felicia for her sixth loop, she'd already covered more than 70 miles.
It was around 1 a.m.
The temperature had dropped, her knees were hurting, her hands were swollen, and she was exhausted.
For the first several miles, we were still moving along.
Then she hit a wall.
And I mean that quite literally.
She started falling asleep while walking.
Her head would slowly drop, and I'd have to ask whether she was awake. She'd snap her head back up and insist she was.
I was holding onto her arm and the back of her chest light, helping her navigate the hills and roots.
At one point, I was physically pushing her forward.
She was cold, hurting, and struggling to stay awake.
We eventually made it to an aid station where she ate ramen noodles, warmed up by a fire, and took a short nap.
I remember standing there watching other runners make the decision to drop out.
Some were choosing to stop. Others simply couldn't continue.
And there was Felicia, wrapped in blankets by the fire, trying to get herself warm enough to head back into the woods.
She was miserable.
But she wasn't finished.
After resting, eating, and warming up, we headed back out.
The sun eventually came up, and she started moving better.
The problems hadn't magically disappeared.
We'd just found a way to manage what was happening so she could continue.
Sometimes Moving Forward Looks Different Than You Expected
One of the biggest things we talked about was learning to adjust when the original plan stops working.
Felicia had trained to run 100 miles.
But eventually, walking became more effective than running.
So she walked.
When she couldn't stay awake, she rested.
When she was freezing, she found a way to get warm.
When her feet hurt, we tried to make them more comfortable.
None of those things were part of the ideal race plan.
But they were what she needed at the time.
And I think that's something we can all learn from.
How often do we get so attached to the way we think something is supposed to happen that we struggle to recognize when we need to change our approach?
We assume that because our original plan isn't working, we're failing.
But sometimes the most useful thing we can do is figure out what's actually happening and make an adjustment.
That doesn't just apply to running.
It applies to our health, relationships, careers, businesses, and just about anything else we're trying to accomplish.
She Didn't Hit Her Goal. And She Still Finished.
Felicia crossed the finish line in approximately 30 hours and 45 minutes.
Her original goal was 27 hours.
And she admitted that missing that goal was difficult.
She's competitive. She'd been ahead of schedule through roughly 72 miles. She knew she'd lost a significant amount of time during those final loops.
It would have been easy to spend the entire conversation focusing on what went wrong.
But she said something that stuck with me.
She wondered what she would have learned if everything had gone perfectly.
If she'd completed the race exactly as planned, would she have gained the same perspective?
Probably not.
She learned that she needed to think differently about rest and recovery. She learned that she could adapt when things went wrong. She learned what it felt like to experience a level of physical suffering she'd never encountered before.
And she learned that she could keep going even when the experience looked nothing like what she'd imagined.
What She Was Most Proud Of
Toward the end of our conversation, I asked Felicia what she was most proud of besides finishing the race.
Her answer surprised me.
She talked about watching the race videos afterward and seeing herself encourage other runners.
Even when she was exhausted, hurting, and barely able to remember what was happening, she was still concerned about the people around her.
She was cheering them on.
She was checking on her pacers.
She was encouraging another runner who was attempting to finish 100 miles for the third time.
And she wasn't doing those things because she thought she should.
It's simply who she is.
She said:
"My heart is the same. It's the same in the suck."
And that was the moment that really got me.
Because after 100 miles, all the pain, all the exhaustion, and everything she had been through, the thing she valued most was knowing that she hadn't lost who she was.
That's a hell of a takeaway.
You'll Never Be Disappointed in Trying
Near the end of our conversation, I asked Felicia what she'd say to someone who has a big goal but is afraid to pursue it.
Maybe they're afraid of failing.
Maybe they don't have much support.
Maybe they aren't sure they're capable of doing the thing they've been thinking about.
Felicia talked about how much she'd grown from putting herself in difficult situations. She talked about the support she discovered along the way, including people she didn't even realize were following her journey.
And then she said something that made me stop her.
"You'll never be disappointed in trying. You'll just be disappointed in not starting."
I immediately told her, "Now that's a quote. I'm gonna write that shit down."
Because think about how much truth there is in that.
How many times have we talked ourselves out of doing something because we're afraid of what might happen?
We worry about failing. We worry about what people will think. We convince ourselves we should wait until we're more prepared, more confident, or have everything figured out.
And sometimes we spend so much time thinking about what could go wrong that we never give ourselves the opportunity to find out what could go right.
Felicia didn't know exactly what would happen when she signed up for 100 miles.
She couldn't predict the knee pain, the exhaustion, or how much she'd have to change her strategy.
She didn't achieve the time she'd originally wanted.
But she tried.
She showed up for 20 weeks of training. She got to the starting line. She learned what she was capable of and discovered things about herself she might never have learned otherwise.
And she finished.
Even if she hadn't finished, those experiences and lessons would still matter.
That's the part I hope people take away from her story.
Whatever that thing is you've been wanting to do, you can start before you know exactly how it's going to turn out.
What Happens When You Believe You Can?
One of the things I love most about Felicia's story is how much her belief in herself has changed over the years.
She told me that a few years ago, if someone had asked whether she could run 100 miles, her answer would have been absolutely not.
But during this race, even when things got incredibly difficult, she never seriously considered quitting.
She questioned how she would finish.
She questioned how long it would take.
She questioned why the hell she'd signed up for something so painful.
But she believed she could figure out a way forward.
That kind of confidence doesn't appear overnight.
It's built through experiences. Through doing difficult things. Through learning from mistakes. Through surrounding yourself with people who encourage you to grow.
And sometimes through taking on a challenge that seems completely ridiculous to everyone else.
You probably aren't planning to run 100 miles.
But maybe there's something else you've been thinking about doing.
Starting a business.
Going back to school.
Making a change in your life.
Trying something you've never done before.
And maybe you're afraid.
I hope Felicia's story gives you a little encouragement to take that first step.
Because you never really know what you're capable of until you give yourself the opportunity to find out.
Listen to Felicia's Story
In this episode of the She Prevails Podcast, Felicia and I share the full experience of her 100-mile ultramarathon.
We talk about the funny moments, the scary moments, the emotional conversations, and the people who helped make it possible.
And we talk about what happens when you discover that you're capable of more than you once believed.
You can listen to the full conversation on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or through the podcast player on this page.
Learn more about She Prevails at The Prevail Company.
Keep prevailing.